Love Can Be A 4 Letter Word

In the past I always thought I knew what love meant and how to achieve it. When love hits you, you just know it, right? Some claim this but I am here to tell you that not everyone has that reaction. It takes time, cultivation and patience. Love can be very messy and can sometimes be difficult but what keeps the love strong is knowing what those barriers are and working together to overcome them.

Have I ever been in love for real? Yes I have. See, I once had a high school sweetheart that I thought I loved but I was too selfish and too immature back then to really even know what love was. I loved him in the only way I knew how to but it wasn't a love and endure for the rest of your life kind of love. I then met someone after that. I loved him with my entire heart. I was floating on cloud nine and there was nothing that could burst my little bubble of bliss. And then he started changing. Crashed my entire world down. It was a very long relationship and with that came a lot of anger, resentment, and domestic disputes. See, I thought love meant enduring everything I went through with that relationship.  Putting my own life aside and joining him in his. Allowing myself to become almost seen but never heard. I thought love meant changing yourself to fit someone and their idea of who they think you should be. I was wrong on all accounts of that. Love is not changing who you are, being silent when you should be speaking up for yourself or allowing emotional and physical torture. I was completely wrong, but how could I have gotten it so wrong? I took all aspects from my last relationship that failed and changed it completely when I met the next one. I got it so wrong with the first relationship that the second one should have been perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. Thinking there is and looking for perfection can keep you from meeting a lot of wonderful people who could have been good enough.

Attributing perfection to love is going to be the ultimate downfall. Love is accepting someone exactly as they are even if they may do things you don't always like. Love is being tolerant of that individual and accepting all of their imperfections. Love is being honest and true to the person that you are with. Love is not stepping out and entertaining others because you know this would hurt the person you are with and if you are in love you would never want to hurt that person. Love is setting aside your own insecurities and taking a leap of faith on the fact that there is someone out there who completes you. Lastly, love is whatever you want it to be. There is no real cookie cutter definition. If the two parties involved have their own rules as to what they want the relationship to be and respect each other enough to adhere to whatever is discussed then you love the way you want to love and in the end that is all that matters!