Essential Oil Beginnings

Lately I have been getting into essential oils. I received a couple on promotion and they got me hooked so I decided to invest in getting a few to mix up the fragrances. There are a ton of brands around, ranging from really cheap fragrance oils to really expensive $60 for 15 ml jars which can be a bit of a rip off if the essential oil is not great quality. I am happy to announce that I will never know if they are good quality because there's no way I could ever justify spending that much money on one small jar. What is essential oil? In short, it's a natural oil that's extracted from plants and trees. It can be used for crafting, water diffuser's, consuming (be very careful doing that!), inhaling, and even used for medicinal purposes along with a carrier oil. Since I have now used a cool mist diffuser and an electric essential oil burner I am proud to announce that for essential oils you want them in a diffuser, fragrance oils you can throw in a burner. By burning oils the heat breaks down the properties and it's less effective depending on what you're using it for and can also kill the fragrance after a while. Keeping essential oils cool is just, overall, better for the oil. I had to experience it to believe it because I was hardcore about my oil burner but now I barely use it.

One of my favorite brands of essential oil is NOW Essential Oil. I have done a bit of research on what others use and I know this is considered medium to lower-grade oil but I find it really useful and it does help me immensely. I tend to purchase my oils from Amazon since I have a membership and I will be damn if I don't use it! They have a nice selection of different oils and the price is moderate which is right up my ally. I stick to price mainly because you can get carried away and start going for different oils that have snappy and snazzy claims like rewinding your internal clock so that you can live forever like on Fame or claiming that the higher-priced oils can cure diseases and keep you healthy by consuming. Young Living Essential Oils and doTERRA comes to mind. They have really interesting claims and guarantees but if you research a bit deeper you will find that they can claim certain terms because they have trademarked the term to try and give it more credence and there is a bit of in-fighting between the two companies. The word on the curb is that Young Living Essential Oils and doTERRA was once one company. So, some disgruntled higher ups didn't like the direction the company was going in so they resigned and then started their own company. Apparently they have taken a lot of patents and idea's from Young Living so they have been in and out of court over it. It's quite the story.

When I use essential oils I like to be in relax mode. Who can relax with that drama going on, right? That's where NOW steps in. I can use the oils, think of something soothing and let the fragrance take me on a mental journey depending on the fragrance mixture. There are other brands of essential oil if you really search but just make sure they are selling you oil and not a dream/marketing/promotion. I do use fragrance oil as well when I feel like smelling something that's not so much essential oil but just something to scent the room. PB&J Trading and Eternal Essence are two of my favorite fragrance oil companies. The fragrances are very nicely concentrated and the scent doesn't dissipate very easy. If you purchase from Amazon they are very cheap but you often have to pay for shipping which can be about as much as the fragrance. So, say there's a fragrance for $2.95, the shipping might be like $2.66 and then all together you would be paying a little under $6. The good thing is they last a long time since you don't need many drops.

Mixing oils to make a fragrance is one of my favorite past times. I mix essential oils and I also do the same thing for fragrance oils. Once you build up a decent collection the combinations are limitless. Since I am really new to the game of essential oils I have not learned all there is to learn about them yet but I'm slowly gaining knowledge. Listed below are some of my favorite combinations. As I gain more information and come up with more recipes I will create other posts. Enjoy!

Recipes: All have been tested with 150 ml of water. Depending on the brand of oils you get you can modify how much oil you need. If I choose to fill the diffuser up to 300 ml I will often up each amount of oil by one to two drops.

Fight Nausea (also works for headaches and yes, it does work!)

5 drops of Lavender essential oil
5 drops of Lemon essential oil
5 drops of Grapefruit essential oil

Sensual Night

6 drops of chocolate fragrance oil
2 drops of strawberry oil
2 drops of Vanilla essential oil 
Fruity (smells like Skittles)

5 drops of Lemon essential oil
2 drops of Lime essential oil
5 drops of Orange essential oil
5 drops of strawberry fragrance oil

Uplifting

2 drops of Cedarwood essential oil
4 drops of Clove essential oil
4 drops of Lemon essential oil
4 drops of Orange essential oil

Orange Dream (my favorite!)

5 drops of Orange essential oil
5 drops of Vanilla essential oil
1 drop of Grapefruit oil

Relaxing Medley

5 drops of Vanilla essential oil
2 drops of Patchouli essential oil
2 drops of Cedarwood essential oil
2 drops of Clove essential oil
2 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil

Aroma Designs Essential Oil Diffuser, So Much Win! A Review

I can't begin to express how much I absolutely love this diffuser. I had a bad experience with one
before I received this so I went into it a bit hesitant as I am used to essential oil burners and had never had real experience with a water-based diffuser. When I received it the box was a bit tiny and I had bad flashbacks to the other one I had just finished boxing back up and throwing in the closet but I was determined to try anyhow. 

What comes in the box? You receive the diffuser, an a/c adapter, a cup to measure and an instruction pamphlet. The instructions serve an important purpose as they not only tell you how to operate the unit but they tell you how to keep it clean and functioning at full capacity. You definitely want to make sure that you keep the instructions handy. Extra kudos for not making the instructions so small that you have to grab a magnifying glass to read them, I know a lot of companies do this to save on paper usage but it's a slight inconvenience to the visually impaired.

How does it work? To assemble this diffuser you simply plug the a/c adapter into the outlet located
on the bottom of the unit, and then plug into the wall. Add up to 300 ml of water and then you get to the fun part. You can add any essential oils you wish to use. For 300 ml of water, and depending on the oil brand, I would add anywhere from 5-10 drops of oil. Less for more potent and expensive brands, more for fragrance oils that are more synthetic than essential oil. Once you add the oils
you
put the top onto the unit and snap it into place. You will know it's closed tight when the arrow located towards the bottom of the top securely aligns with the arrow on the unit. To turn on the light you simply press the button on the left. If you select it once it rotates colors. If you select more than once you can cycle through the different colors that's provided and the colors no longer automatically shift. Each color has a dim setting and a brighter setting, back to back when you're pressing the button. You know that you have cycled through all the colors when the light goes all the way off when you press the button again. 

The button on the right turns the diffuser on. You press and hold that button down until the green indicator comes on. From there you can press the button to cycle through the timer settings. When the unit comes on it's automatically on thirty minutes. If you press the button again you move to 60

minutes. The next option is 120 minutes and then the last option is just plain on. When you select the "on" settings the diffuser will keep going so long as there's a sufficient amount of water in the machine. When the water dips to a certain level it automatically shuts off. Please note that you are able to turn the light selection on without turning the diffuser on if you're looking for a nice night light or you can turn the diffuser on without turning on the light if you're looking to use this at night and don't want a glow in your face. The led on the front of the diffuser is a dim green. You can see it just fine but it's not overbearing or bothersome in dark settings.

Overall I absolutely love this diffuser and it's changed my mind in how I view them. Before this I was more into just using an essential oil burner which heats up the oils with either a light bulb, motor or tea candle but after doing some research on burners vs diffusers I find that a lot of the qualities in the oils are severely denigrated when you heat them. I am very happy that I was able to try out this diffuser and I loved it so much that I actually purchased another diffuser at full price to use in my bedroom. I'm contemplating purchasing a third one for my bathroom and completely doing away with the burners mainly because the fragrance is overall better coming from a diffuser. 

Is this diffuser as good as one that you might pay over a hundred dollars for with all types of bells and whistles? Perhaps not but better is in the eyes of the beholder. Aroma designs set out to find a product that was simple and able to be priced at a reasonable point and I think they have truly succeeded. I highly recommend this diffuser because it works, it's quiet and it doesn't leak like some other models and it gets the job done without hassle.

*Bonus* Cleaning instructions. Cleaning this device is truly not a difficult task at all. You would unplug the unit from the a/c adapter on the bottom of the unit, use a wet rag and a little natural detergent of a very small amount (I'm talking pea sized) of regular detergent and wipe the inside out. Make sure that you get all of the oil that's seeped into the little hole in the middle of the unit. I used a sponge but you can also use a wash clothe or towel. After that you add about 100 ml of water and
turn the machine on for 30 minutes with no oils at all and let it cycle through until it cuts off. Dump the remaining water and you're good to go. Add the water you want and the oils and go to town. This is pretty effort free and effective to keep things from getting clogged with oil which can diminish the quality of how the product works.

Anger Management: What Makes You Tick?

I have had this issue for a while, now. Anger. Sometimes I don't know what I'm mad about and sometimes it's a pointed issue that creates the anger.

There is a specific issue that I am dealing with right now that has my anger level at a pretty even six on a scale of one to ten. This is a situation that I must deal with, there's no way around it in spite of how much I would rather pretend the situation doesn't exist. The argument, on the surface, appeared to be my just not liking how the situation was happening and when you combine that with my general dislike of the person causing the situation it caused an argument. For days I have been walking around thinking it was the person that was upsetting me and all I could think about was "how could you do this to me, I don't deserve it!". As I relax and clear my mind right now I find that it's not the person who's upsetting me. It's the lack of trust that is being exhibited from people who are not trustworthy to begin with. It's almost like "for every stone you throw at me there's three more coming back to you for all that you have done".

Is that a healthy approach to dealing with anger issues? No, I'm here to tell you that it's not. I am currently working on dealing with my situation in as little anger and hostility as possible. One has to look at the bigger picture. "If the anger is not serving you a positive purpose then you are just letting negative energy bring you down and ruin your health" (Ralph from the YouTube channel 'Infinite Waters Diving Deep'). You can't change other people and how they deal with you but you can change how you react. Some may even upset you on purpose, pushing your buttons, but you have to find a way to see the whole picture which will enable you to know when they are purposely pushing buttons. Gaining control of your emotions is key to this situation.

This is all easier said than done, especially for someone like me. My emotions are very sensitive and easily manipulated by others, therefore they are able to elicit reactions from me that may not be in my best interest to act out. It's hard for me to admit this but when people pull anger from me and the only way for me to react is to lash out they have control over me and it's not something that I'm happy about or proud of.

What can be done to take back control of your reactions, emotions and anger? Limit the time you spend around that person. If you aren't having to be around them all the time, limitations means that you can prepare yourself and your reactions ahead of time. Make sure that you have thought out the possible situations and even figure out how much you are willing to speak to that person before you cut conversation off. If it's possible, try not to have conversation with the person at all. Some people aren't meant to get along with you, that's just simple human nature, therefore interacting too much with them will always result in an argument or confrontation. If the person insists on having communication with you even though they know there's no amicable end to the situation then you now have knowledge that the person is trying to speak enough to bring you out of your character. Don't give them the upperhand.

What else can be done? Take a deep breath and count backwards from a hundred, making sure that you breathe slowly between numbers. If you have increased breathing that's agitating your oxygen which can lead to building up more anger and hostility. Something else you could do is drink green tea and meditate before seeing the anger trigger. Ever heard of the phrase "calm as tea"? Green tea, even chamomile tea, have extreme calming effects and can aid in you having a quick and stress free interaction with the trigger. One way that I don't really recommend if you have a lot of anger is to take a deep breath and hold it while the person is speaking, allow their negativity to push your buttons but don't react, and then let out a healthy scream when you leave their vacinity.

This is definitely not all of the methods that you can use to contain anger but it's a good jumping off point. Remember, meditate and try to maintain control of your emotions through that. Some people are only around to bring out the worst in us, it's up to us to bring out the best version of ourselves and no one else should have power over that (Ralph from the YouTube channel 'Infinite Waters Diving Deep'). As I work on my anger issues I will continue to post and in the meantime, check out Ralph's channel, his video's are absolutely electric. Love, peace and blessed be )O(.

Review: NatureBox Santa Fe Corn Stix

I heard a lot about these chips before I actually received them and everyone said the exact same thing: they taste exactly like Dorito's. So, since I love Dorito's naturally I had to have them in my first box. Little did I know that the chips actually did not taste like Dorito's. They tasted more like corn chips with a light cheese flavor, also very salty. I can't say that I hated them because I didn't but I don't think I would ever want to have them again. I think they could have went down on the salt a bit and still achieved the same flavor, which wasn't close to Dorito's. Since the two have been compared I am going to give a nutrition comparison.

Nutrition

Santa Fe Corn Stix

Ingredients: Yellow Corn Masa, Soybean Oil, Salsa Seasoning (whey powder, tomato powder, salt, maltodextrin, green pepper powder, onion powder, natural flavoring, spices and herbs, torula yeast, beet powder (for color), annatto (for color).

Calories: 140

Calories from Fat: 60

Total Fat: 6g

Saturated Fat: 1g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 250mg

Total Carbohydrate: 20g

Dietary Fiber: 2g

Sugars: 1g

Protein: 2g

Vitamin C: 2%

Calcium: 2%

Iron: 2%

Dorito's

Ingredients: Corn, Vegetable Oil (Sunflower, Canola, and/or Corn Oil), Maltodextrin (made from corn), salt, cheddar cheese (milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes), whey, monosodium glutamate, buttermilk, romano cheese (part-skim cow's milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes), whey protein concentrate, onion powder, corn flour, natural and artitificial flavor, dextrose, tomato powder, lactose, spices, artificial color (including yellow 6, yellow 5, and red 40), lactic acid, citric acid, sugar, garlic powder, skim milk, red and green bell pepper powder, disodium inosinate, and disodium guanylate.

Calories: 140

Calories from Fat: 70

Total Fat: 8g

Saturated Fat: 1g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 210mg

Total Carbohydrate: 16g

Dietary Fiber: 1g

Sugars: 0g

Protein: 2g

Vitamin A: 2%

Thiamin: 2%

Vitamin B6: 2%

When you look at the ingredient list you automatically assume the Santa Fe sticks are healthier but when you look deeper at the nutrition breakdown you may find that things will take a sharp change. The calories are the same and the calories from fat favors the santa fe sticks. However, when you get down to the carbs Dorito's are overall better for you if you're watching carbohydrate intake. Another thing that I found startling, and was the game changer for me, was the sodium. I, so far, have a bit of an issue with the saltiness of the chips from NatureBox. I feel like a lot of the time they could decrease their sodium and not lose the essence of the chips. In this case this is illustrated. Dorito's are supposed to be unhealthy, and they are if consumed too frequently, but when it comes to salt intake they are actually better for you and I would choose the Dorito's over the santa fe sticks. 

Overall the Dorito's won this smack down, hands down. They won in carbs, sodium, and even sugar (Dorito added none where the santa fe sticks added a gram). This product is not something I would actively choose again but wouldn't turn my nose up at them if they came as a replacement for something I wanted.

Review: NatureBox Masa Crisps

So, I'm sitting at my desk a bit hungry but not hungry enough to cook something and I reach over and grab the masa crisps. On first taste they taste a lot like Fritos Corn Chips with a little hint of something extra and a little bit of a sweetness to it. The after taste is rather pleasant as well. My biggest thing here is the nutrition. Since these snacks are supposed to be more healthy it's only fair that we compare these crisps to what their competition is.

Nutrition

Masa Crisps

Ingredients: Yellow Corn Masa, Flax Seeds, Soybean Oil, Salt.

Calories: 140

Fat from Calories: 70

Total Fat: 8g

Saturated Fat: 1g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 170mg

Total Carbohydrates: 16g

Fiber: 3g

Sugars: 0g

Protein: 3g

Vitamin C: 2%

Calcium: 2%

Iron: 4%

FRITOS Original Corn Chips

Ingredients: Corn, Corn oil, and Salt.

Calories: 160

Calories from Fat: 90

Total Fat: 10g

Saturated Fat: 1.5g

Trans. Fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 0mg
Sodium: 170mg
Total Carbohydrates: 15g
Dietary Fiber: 1g
Sugars: <1g
Protein: 2g
Calcium: 2%
Vitamin E: 6%
Phosphorous: 4%
Vitamin B6: 2%

In light of the nutrition being very close in range I did a bit more investigating. In the masa crisps I looked more into flax seed and what the purpose is for it. Flax seeds have been consumed since about 3000BC. Some of the health benefits are omega-3 essential fatty acids which aids in having a healthy heart, soluble and insoluble fiber, as well as lignans which has plant estrogen and plant antioxidants. Eating flax seeds daily can cut down on cancer, cholesterol (lowering your LDL) and type-2 diabetes.

Nutrition for Flax Seeds

Amount per 1 tablespoon

Calories: 55

Total Fat: 4.3g

Saturated Fat: 0.4g

Polyunsaturated Fat: 3g

Monounsaturated Fat: 0.8g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 3mg

Potassium: 84mg

Total Carbohydrates: 3g

Dietary Fiber: 2.8g

Sugars: 0.2g

Protein: 1.9g

Calcium: 2%

Iron: 3%

Magnesium: 10%

According to a bit of research I did on sunflower oil, which is what was used in the masa chips, it's overall healthier for the heart than corn oil but only if it's oleic sunflower oil which has a whopping 83.6g of omega-6 fats. Linoleic sunflower oil contains 45.4g of omega-6 fats so that's the second best, corn oil coming in last with 27.6g. When you compare the two options it's clear that on first sight they appear to be neck and neck in nutrition. If you break the components down and look deeper into where the nutrition facts are being appropriated you can get a better idea of what the true healthy option is. 

These two products taste remarkably the same however if I were to choose between the two I would be better off with the masa crisps. The only change I would like to see is, perhaps, cutting the salt content in half. It doesn't matter which option you look at, 170mg of sodium is a lot for chips that are supposed to be healthy. When I taste the masa crisps I feel like the sodium could definitely come down a bit and not ruin the integrity of the flavor thus overall maintaing the healthy factor. 

Resources

Corn Oil vs Sunflower Oil: http://oilypedia.com/corn-oil-vs-sunflower-oil-choose-the-best/

Benefits of Flax Seeds: http://www.webmd.com/diet/benefits-of-flaxseed

Review: NatureBox Sample

In a quest of finding something awesome to watch on YouTube I came across a ton of reviews on something called NatureBox. While I was watching I thought "gee, these people sure sound like they are getting a cut of the proceeds, I wonder how many of them actually tried this product and gave an honest and unbiased review". After going to their website I saw that there was a sample box being given out for free and all you pay is $2 for shipping so I decided to dive in. You receive four single serve packages and one regular size package.

First of all, what is NatureBox? This company prides themselves on creating snacks that are better for you than commercial snacks that we typically eat. They don't add preservatives, a ton of salt, hydrogenated oils, fructose corn syrup or other additions that just aren't healthy for you. All of their snacks are nutritionist approved and best of all the snacks are delivered directly to you. You can subscribe for $19.99 a month for 5 snacks, $29.99 for 10 snacks and it goes up from there. Every month you are sent items from your pantry list (a list where you can add items that you want to try). You can either design your own box selection or you can let the company compile a box of random snacks to send. The subscription can also be set to send every other week, every month, every two months and on from there.

I received my sample box and here's what I got: Jalapeno Cashews (single serving), Masa Crisps (single serving), Cranberry Medley (single serving), Sweet Blueberry Almonds (single serving) and Dark Cocoa Nom Noms (full size). I haven't tried them all because the single serving bag is not resealable but I did try the almonds and they were so good! I am not a large fan of blueberries but I found that the almonds were amazingly paired with this flavor. I actually want to add the full bag to my shipment in the future. The second thing I tried were the nom noms. The regular size bags are resealable so I felt comfortable trying them. One cookie was so rich and chocolatey. I enjoy chocolate, especially dark chocolate, and I felt that hit the spot. The flavor was completely on point and due to the richness the one cookie per serving feels justified.

I am going to try the other packs over time and I might do mini reviews to list what my experience was of them. So far I'm impressed and even if the other three completely suck I feel comfortable continuing the membership and choosing my own items for the June box. I highly recommend this product, especially at the trial price of $2. You get a lot of product for that little amount of money. Every sampler comes with a different supply so you may not get the same items I did but it's completely worth it to try. I look forward to more experiences and reviews with this company.

Nutritional Facts

Dark Chocolate Nom Noms

Ingredients: Rolled oats, almonds, for added freshness (grape juice, rice dextrin), honey, sugar, canola oil, dark chocolate flavored chips (sugar, vegetable fat {palm, palm kernel}, cocoa processed with alkali, dry buttermilk, soy lecithin {an emulsifier}, natural flavors), cocoa powder, egg whites, unsweetened chocolate, unsweetened coconut, brown rice syrup, natural flavor, pumpkin seeds, cocoa processed with alkali, salt.

Serving Size: 1 piece

Servings Per Container: 5

Calories: 100

Calories from Fat: 45

Total Fat: 5g

Saturated Fat: 1.5g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 20mg

Total Carbohydrates: 12g

Dietary Fiber: 1g 

Sugars: 5g

Protein: 2g

Iron: 4%

Sweet Blueberry Almonds

Ingredients: Almonds, sugar, natural flavor, red cabbage juice extract (for color), beet juice concentrate (for color), soy lecithin.

Serving Size: 1 packet

Calories: 160

Fat Calories: 110

Total Fat: 12g

Saturated Fat: 1g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 0mg

Total Carbohydrates: 9g

Fiber: 3g

Sugars: 6g

Protein: 6g

Iron: 6%

Cranberry Medley

Ingredients: Pomegranate flavored dried cranberries (cranberries, sugar, sunflower oil, natural flavor), acai flavored dried cranberries (cranberries, sugar, sunflower oil, natural flavor), dried blueberries (cultivated blueberries, sugar, sunflower oil).

Serving Size: 1 packet

Calories: 100

Fat Calories: 0

Total Fat: 0g

Saturated Fat: 0g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 0mg

Total Carbohydrates: 25g

Fiber: 2g

Sugars: 20g

Protein: 0g

Masa Crisps

Ingredients: Yellow corn masa, flax seeds, soybean oil, salt.

Serving Size: 1 packet

Calories: 140

Fat Calories: 70

Total Fat: 8g

Saturated Fat: 1g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 170mg

Total Carbohydrates: 16g

Fiber: 3g

Sugars: 0g

Protein: 3g

Vitamin C: 2%

Iron: 4%

Jalapeno Cashews

Ingredients: Cashews, Jalapeno seasoning (salt, dextrose, maltodextrin, spices, onion powder, torula yeast, green bell peppers, garlic powder, natural flavor, spice extractive, calcium stearate {to prevent caking}.

Serving Size: 1 packet

Calories: 160

Fat Calories: 120

Total Fat: 13g

Saturated Fat: 2.5g

Trans Fat: 0g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Sodium: 220mg

Total Carbohydrates: 9g

Fiber: <1g

Sugars: 1g

Protein: 4g

Calcium: 2%

Iron: 10%

Is Your Friend Really Your Friend?

We have all had friends that we thought was actually pretty decent and then they do one thing that makes you re-evaluate the entire friendship. How do you know if that friend is actually loyal and one of a kind and how do you know if that friend should be let go? I have a few ideas on this.

1. Say something bad happens to you, like a family member dies. You are upset, distraught, and need someone to talk to so you talk to your friend. If that person listens to you and never says that they're sorry for the loss or worse, they don't respond at all, that person is not really your friend. Lets expound on that a little. This is a friend that you talk to all the time and they confide everything about their family in you. There's nothing that's been off limits in their life and you had conversations with them and was even there for them when one of their family members were sick. If this same friend, in return, chooses to sit by idly knowing you're in pain this is not someone who regards you as a real friend. They only care about themselves but when it's flipped around they don't care about you.

2. They highlight your negative traits. For instance, lets say that you are usually a pretty bubbly person and you laugh and joke a lot of the time. One day you hit a funk and don't feel so bubbly and it bleeds into the next day. In spite of the fact that you are normally bubbly and the funk is out of character that friend only highlights the fact that you aren't happy for a couple of days and exacerbate it saying that you are always upset and mad. Now, you know this is incorrect and most around you know this is incorrect but they insist on harping on the couple of days you were upset while ignoring who you truly are. This kind of person is overly critical over everything you do while not looking at the fact that they have had bad days and you were there for them without judging. This is not a true friend, this is someone who will, over time, make you feel like something is wrong with you. Very toxic.

3. Inconsiderate. It's time to go out. The outing is your idea so you decide that you want to be nice and pay for your friend. So, you go out and have a wonderful time. At a later date that friend decides that they want you to go somewhere with them and they plan the entire afternoon/evening/night. This friend doesn't pay for anything (even though you've paid for them in the past) and on top of that never asks you where to eat or ask you for your input for what to do for the outing. You are pretty much on the hook for any and all costs accrued to you that allows you to keep up with that friend. Here's another example. It's their birthday and you take them out and paint the town red. You have a good evening and, again, because it's their birthday you pay. The time comes for your birthday and that same friend wants to take you out (their idea). They don't pay for anything and you pretty much feel like you are on their itinerary of what they want to do but they never ask your input on the activities or dinner, you are just assumed to be paying your own way. That's not a true blue and genuine friend. Mother manners dictates that if you are friends you should do things for each other, not a one sided situation of you doing things for them that they would never do for you in return. Another mother manners moment is if someone asks you out to celebrate your birthday it should be pre-determined that they are footing the bill. Who pays their own way on an outing that you didn't approve ahead of time and have no real say so over? It doesn't make much sense but that person is so selfish and self absorbed that they will convince you that what they're doing is sane and how things are done.

4. Movie night. The time has come to watch movies and you are excited. You ask your friend what's on the agenda for the night and they tell you the titles. Now, the titles are a part of a genre you don't really dig too much but you ride along with it anyhow because you just want to hang out with them. On the next movie night gathering you ask if it's possible for you to choose a movie to watch. That same person says no, that's something that is reserved for people that they're dating and friends don't get to choose movies on movie night. This is not an even friendship, this is someone who's only interested in doing what they want to do and they just so happen to want company and since no one else is available they contact you. On the flip coin you want to watch a movie and you invite them, only they decline because they don't want to watch what you watch but insist and assume that you will always accept their invitation. Poor manners.

These examples are just a few out of many but should give a general overview of what type of signs to start looking for. Every single example has happened to me with the same person and at this point we aren't really speaking. I am taking this time to really evaluate everything that's happened over the years and most signs indicate that I have tolerated and allowed way too much to pass by while being blind and not wanting to see what the truth is. Life is too short to allow someone to treat you with such disrespect. If this person has been like this for a long time the probability of saying anything to them and getting a decent response is very slim, unfortunately. In my case this is a male friend and anytime I want to bring up my grievances with how he treats me overall he retorts with the fact that he feels I want more than a friendship and the issues I have (those listed above and more) are not that important and that I'm overly sensitive. This is a reaction that you have to watch out for. That person is incorrect, you aren't being overly sensitive they lack empathy to understand how you feel and care enough to maybe adjust how they're acting. Don't waste too much time on friends like this, you could be cultivating a friendship with someone who truly appreciates and gives a damn about you.