We have all had friends that we thought was actually pretty decent and then they do one thing that makes you re-evaluate the entire friendship. How do you know if that friend is actually loyal and one of a kind and how do you know if that friend should be let go? I have a few ideas on this.
1. Say something bad happens to you, like a family member dies. You are upset, distraught, and need someone to talk to so you talk to your friend. If that person listens to you and never says that they're sorry for the loss or worse, they don't respond at all, that person is not really your friend. Lets expound on that a little. This is a friend that you talk to all the time and they confide everything about their family in you. There's nothing that's been off limits in their life and you had conversations with them and was even there for them when one of their family members were sick. If this same friend, in return, chooses to sit by idly knowing you're in pain this is not someone who regards you as a real friend. They only care about themselves but when it's flipped around they don't care about you.
2. They highlight your negative traits. For instance, lets say that you are usually a pretty bubbly person and you laugh and joke a lot of the time. One day you hit a funk and don't feel so bubbly and it bleeds into the next day. In spite of the fact that you are normally bubbly and the funk is out of character that friend only highlights the fact that you aren't happy for a couple of days and exacerbate it saying that you are always upset and mad. Now, you know this is incorrect and most around you know this is incorrect but they insist on harping on the couple of days you were upset while ignoring who you truly are. This kind of person is overly critical over everything you do while not looking at the fact that they have had bad days and you were there for them without judging. This is not a true friend, this is someone who will, over time, make you feel like something is wrong with you. Very toxic.
3. Inconsiderate. It's time to go out. The outing is your idea so you decide that you want to be nice and pay for your friend. So, you go out and have a wonderful time. At a later date that friend decides that they want you to go somewhere with them and they plan the entire afternoon/evening/night. This friend doesn't pay for anything (even though you've paid for them in the past) and on top of that never asks you where to eat or ask you for your input for what to do for the outing. You are pretty much on the hook for any and all costs accrued to you that allows you to keep up with that friend. Here's another example. It's their birthday and you take them out and paint the town red. You have a good evening and, again, because it's their birthday you pay. The time comes for your birthday and that same friend wants to take you out (their idea). They don't pay for anything and you pretty much feel like you are on their itinerary of what they want to do but they never ask your input on the activities or dinner, you are just assumed to be paying your own way. That's not a true blue and genuine friend. Mother manners dictates that if you are friends you should do things for each other, not a one sided situation of you doing things for them that they would never do for you in return. Another mother manners moment is if someone asks you out to celebrate your birthday it should be pre-determined that they are footing the bill. Who pays their own way on an outing that you didn't approve ahead of time and have no real say so over? It doesn't make much sense but that person is so selfish and self absorbed that they will convince you that what they're doing is sane and how things are done.
4. Movie night. The time has come to watch movies and you are excited. You ask your friend what's on the agenda for the night and they tell you the titles. Now, the titles are a part of a genre you don't really dig too much but you ride along with it anyhow because you just want to hang out with them. On the next movie night gathering you ask if it's possible for you to choose a movie to watch. That same person says no, that's something that is reserved for people that they're dating and friends don't get to choose movies on movie night. This is not an even friendship, this is someone who's only interested in doing what they want to do and they just so happen to want company and since no one else is available they contact you. On the flip coin you want to watch a movie and you invite them, only they decline because they don't want to watch what you watch but insist and assume that you will always accept their invitation. Poor manners.
These examples are just a few out of many but should give a general overview of what type of signs to start looking for. Every single example has happened to me with the same person and at this point we aren't really speaking. I am taking this time to really evaluate everything that's happened over the years and most signs indicate that I have tolerated and allowed way too much to pass by while being blind and not wanting to see what the truth is. Life is too short to allow someone to treat you with such disrespect. If this person has been like this for a long time the probability of saying anything to them and getting a decent response is very slim, unfortunately. In my case this is a male friend and anytime I want to bring up my grievances with how he treats me overall he retorts with the fact that he feels I want more than a friendship and the issues I have (those listed above and more) are not that important and that I'm overly sensitive. This is a reaction that you have to watch out for. That person is incorrect, you aren't being overly sensitive they lack empathy to understand how you feel and care enough to maybe adjust how they're acting. Don't waste too much time on friends like this, you could be cultivating a friendship with someone who truly appreciates and gives a damn about you.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Food Review: Hershey's Chocolate Almond Spread
My first ultimate test was making a chocolate quesadilla for a midnight snack. It came out pretty good. The spread was melted and more of the chocolate flavor came out. My next test was eating it with a cut up apple which just happens to be my favorite past time with Nutella and I'm not sure, the jury is out. I don't hate it but I don't love it.
Overall I think this spread is in a league of its own. I am not convinced that I would ever pick this particular jar up again because it doesn't seem to be my type of spread, although I think it's just merely okay. I think I will stick with Nutella! Now, there is a hazelnut spread as well and I haven't tried that yet. If I decide to I will make another review and see how it directly compares to Nutella. We can have have a spread-off!
Food Recipe: Microwave Mug Cake
Last night I had a hankering for something sweet but I didn't have eggs to make a cake so I opened the cake mix and made a microwave cake. It was actually pretty good. This doesn't, by any means, take the place of actual cake baked in the oven but it does stave off the sweet tooth as well as anything.
Ingredients
3-6 tablespoons cake mix
2-4 tablespoons water
Directions
1. Add cake mix into a mug, or even a bowl.
2. Mix the water until well combined and most of the lumps are out of the mix.
3. Microwave for 1 minute or less, keep an eye on it. You don't want to cook too long. Usually no more than a minute.
4. Let cool for about 5 minutes because the cake will be extremely hot. Add icing or cut up some fruit for a topping or whipped cream. Get creative.
Ingredients
3-6 tablespoons cake mix
2-4 tablespoons water
Directions
1. Add cake mix into a mug, or even a bowl.
2. Mix the water until well combined and most of the lumps are out of the mix.
3. Microwave for 1 minute or less, keep an eye on it. You don't want to cook too long. Usually no more than a minute.
4. Let cool for about 5 minutes because the cake will be extremely hot. Add icing or cut up some fruit for a topping or whipped cream. Get creative.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Can Poor Etiquette Kill Your Chances of Future Employment?
I have a friend, lets call him Isaiah. Isaiah lost his job a month ago and he's been out of work ever since. He's been searching, day and night, for a position at another company but he hasn't found someone interested yet. This is not from lack of smarts. He is one of the smartest people I know. College degree, other accolades accumulated since graduation which makes him a hot commodity in the job search arena.
With that education comes a bit of cockiness. He applies for jobs, even ones he really doesn't want and considers "below him" and will counteract each job opportunity with asking for a certain amount of money per year and want that confirmed in an email before he will even go to an interview. The issue with this method is that typically companies extend an interview to you before offering financial compensation. This is a perk that comes along with actually being hired or seriously considered for the position. When you ask by email, before you agree to an interview, you give off the air that you are cocky, have a job already and looking for a better job or you aren't really serious about finding work. You may have, occasionally, someone who will try to meet your terms through email before the interview but once it's documented in email it's an amount that has to stick and that's a lot to ask of a company who hasn't actually met you yet.
In a lot of ways asking for specific compensation before going into an interview is self-sabotaging. This sets the precedence for the interview. Say the company agrees to what you are asking. You have a lot to prove in the interview for such a brazen action on your behalf. This will almost always shoot you in the foot if you are not very good at interviews. You have to present yourself in a way that's sure to show that you are worthy of the amount. Another sabotage, as I listed before, is being passed over all together. More companies than not won't meet compensation guidelines by email before even meeting you, it's sending a very bad message. It says that you are only interested in the position for the money. You aren't interested in doing a good job and you possibly aren't interested in remaining in the position if you find a job willing to pay you more. It takes a lot to hire someone, go through interviews and training. This takes money and resources on the companies end and they won't feel comfortable putting all of their stock in you when you are already sending up red flags, and this is a large red flag.
Ultimately, if you are looking for a job it's imperative that you follow through on the applications you fill out. If you took the time to get the application done and they took the time to look through your credentials and make contact then you can take the time to interview. I have gone into interviews where a job was listed at a certain amount per hour and did so well that my compensation package was offered at a much higher tier. Poor and overly demanding attitudes can block you from getting employment and if you don't have a job at all that's something that you literally cannot afford to do. I hope this will help someone evade the stumbling block that will go up if you start off acting like this. Your interview begins at the time they reach out to you for an interview. How you respond sets the precedence on if they want you on their staff or if your attitude is too much for them to care to deal with. Don't shoot yourself in the foot prematurely, compensation can be discussed once a formal offer has been made; that's the most appropriate time to bring up compensation unless otherwise stipulated by the company.
With that education comes a bit of cockiness. He applies for jobs, even ones he really doesn't want and considers "below him" and will counteract each job opportunity with asking for a certain amount of money per year and want that confirmed in an email before he will even go to an interview. The issue with this method is that typically companies extend an interview to you before offering financial compensation. This is a perk that comes along with actually being hired or seriously considered for the position. When you ask by email, before you agree to an interview, you give off the air that you are cocky, have a job already and looking for a better job or you aren't really serious about finding work. You may have, occasionally, someone who will try to meet your terms through email before the interview but once it's documented in email it's an amount that has to stick and that's a lot to ask of a company who hasn't actually met you yet.
In a lot of ways asking for specific compensation before going into an interview is self-sabotaging. This sets the precedence for the interview. Say the company agrees to what you are asking. You have a lot to prove in the interview for such a brazen action on your behalf. This will almost always shoot you in the foot if you are not very good at interviews. You have to present yourself in a way that's sure to show that you are worthy of the amount. Another sabotage, as I listed before, is being passed over all together. More companies than not won't meet compensation guidelines by email before even meeting you, it's sending a very bad message. It says that you are only interested in the position for the money. You aren't interested in doing a good job and you possibly aren't interested in remaining in the position if you find a job willing to pay you more. It takes a lot to hire someone, go through interviews and training. This takes money and resources on the companies end and they won't feel comfortable putting all of their stock in you when you are already sending up red flags, and this is a large red flag.
Ultimately, if you are looking for a job it's imperative that you follow through on the applications you fill out. If you took the time to get the application done and they took the time to look through your credentials and make contact then you can take the time to interview. I have gone into interviews where a job was listed at a certain amount per hour and did so well that my compensation package was offered at a much higher tier. Poor and overly demanding attitudes can block you from getting employment and if you don't have a job at all that's something that you literally cannot afford to do. I hope this will help someone evade the stumbling block that will go up if you start off acting like this. Your interview begins at the time they reach out to you for an interview. How you respond sets the precedence on if they want you on their staff or if your attitude is too much for them to care to deal with. Don't shoot yourself in the foot prematurely, compensation can be discussed once a formal offer has been made; that's the most appropriate time to bring up compensation unless otherwise stipulated by the company.
Miscellaneous This and That Topics
A little bit has happened over the last few days that makes me perk my ears up. The most major being that of Hillary Clinton running for president. It would be nice for a woman to become president, that's no secret. I think it's time women step up to the plate and show what we can do; I know with the right candidate it can be possible. Some of the things Hillary stands for is gay marriage (recent change, she used to be against it), feminism, education about contraception for teens, medicinal marijuana and possible recreational use marijuana, parents teaching their kids from home as they are the first teachers the children come across as well as getting resources into Africa to combat Ebola instead of doing nothing like we have been doing. She stands for a lot more but those are just a few key stances I extracted. A more comprehensive list can be found at: http://www.ontheissues.org/hillary_clinton.htm
Now, we can't leave off the republicans in this, obviously. Ben Carson has been in the media lately, it appears he's running. He is a retired director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at John Hopkins Hospital. I checked him out yesterday and I have to say that other than him being an amazing surgeon I don't see how any of that supports his reasoning for candidacy. He comes across religious, stating that he is going to get the country back to "one nation under God". Whenever I see someone quote anything with the word "God" in it within the first paragraph of their text it raises the hair on the back of my hands. I am not looking to put my support behind someone who is only going to stand for the Christians of the country and attempt to stomp on the rest of our liberties. With that being said, he sounds interesting but for me to really hear him I need him to say something worth listening to. More information about him can be found at: https://www.bencarson.com/explore/
When I think of Hillary Clinton I remember the times that we had Bill Clinton in office and, while he may not have been perfect and scandal free, he did a lot for this country. Upon him leaving the white house we had a surplus and the country was in decent shape. A lot of me would vote for Hillary Clinton if only Bill was running things behind the scenes. We need a lot done in this country and it's not the time to hand over to amateurs. We did that, for eight years, and this is why we need help. I don't know if Jeb Bush intends on running but I wouldn't be mad at that prospect either. Ultimately, when it comes to politics, I only care about what's important to me. I am looking for a president who is going to work for all of us in this country, not just a select few, someone who is going to legalize marriage for all humans, someone who is going to separate church and state as the constitution dictates, someone who is going to care about the future environment of this world and someone who isn't going to embarrass the crap out of America every time they open their mouth. I don't know if Mrs. Clinton is the right way to go, Mr. Carson is the right way to go, or someone I haven't looked into yet, but I just know that the way this country has been going over the last few years demonstrates that we need someone in office who's competent enough to switch things around.
On to a lighter topic. Last night I made a Hershey's chocolate and almond spread quesadilla and it was pretty good! I browned a quesadilla in butter and smeared the spread then cut into wedges. I would definitely make this again, I just would watch the temperature of the pan because if the tortilla browns too much it takes away from the subtile flavor of the spread and overpowers with an almost charred tortilla flavor. This holds true with a normal quesadilla as well. Tonight I am going to make cinnamon chips and use to dip in the spread and see how that tastes. To make that I am going to fry the flour tortilla in oil and cut into small, bite sized pieces and sprinkle with brown sugar and cinnamon.
Overall nothing else has been pressing and nothing more has been running through my frightful mind so I am going to cut this post here. I hope everyone who reads this is having a wonderful week!
Now, we can't leave off the republicans in this, obviously. Ben Carson has been in the media lately, it appears he's running. He is a retired director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at John Hopkins Hospital. I checked him out yesterday and I have to say that other than him being an amazing surgeon I don't see how any of that supports his reasoning for candidacy. He comes across religious, stating that he is going to get the country back to "one nation under God". Whenever I see someone quote anything with the word "God" in it within the first paragraph of their text it raises the hair on the back of my hands. I am not looking to put my support behind someone who is only going to stand for the Christians of the country and attempt to stomp on the rest of our liberties. With that being said, he sounds interesting but for me to really hear him I need him to say something worth listening to. More information about him can be found at: https://www.bencarson.com/explore/
When I think of Hillary Clinton I remember the times that we had Bill Clinton in office and, while he may not have been perfect and scandal free, he did a lot for this country. Upon him leaving the white house we had a surplus and the country was in decent shape. A lot of me would vote for Hillary Clinton if only Bill was running things behind the scenes. We need a lot done in this country and it's not the time to hand over to amateurs. We did that, for eight years, and this is why we need help. I don't know if Jeb Bush intends on running but I wouldn't be mad at that prospect either. Ultimately, when it comes to politics, I only care about what's important to me. I am looking for a president who is going to work for all of us in this country, not just a select few, someone who is going to legalize marriage for all humans, someone who is going to separate church and state as the constitution dictates, someone who is going to care about the future environment of this world and someone who isn't going to embarrass the crap out of America every time they open their mouth. I don't know if Mrs. Clinton is the right way to go, Mr. Carson is the right way to go, or someone I haven't looked into yet, but I just know that the way this country has been going over the last few years demonstrates that we need someone in office who's competent enough to switch things around.
On to a lighter topic. Last night I made a Hershey's chocolate and almond spread quesadilla and it was pretty good! I browned a quesadilla in butter and smeared the spread then cut into wedges. I would definitely make this again, I just would watch the temperature of the pan because if the tortilla browns too much it takes away from the subtile flavor of the spread and overpowers with an almost charred tortilla flavor. This holds true with a normal quesadilla as well. Tonight I am going to make cinnamon chips and use to dip in the spread and see how that tastes. To make that I am going to fry the flour tortilla in oil and cut into small, bite sized pieces and sprinkle with brown sugar and cinnamon.
Overall nothing else has been pressing and nothing more has been running through my frightful mind so I am going to cut this post here. I hope everyone who reads this is having a wonderful week!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Foodie Post: Penne and Cheese (Mac and Cheese)
This recipe is good if you are looking for a quick, filling and tasty recipe. I made it up on the fly and it was extremely cheesy. When I make this again I am going to add 2 slices of crumbled bacon for another dimension of flavor. Due to this recipe being very basic the different variations and experiments are limitless.
Ingredients
2 cups penne, cooked
1/4 cup milk
6 oz. Velveeta, cubed
2 oz. shredded cheddar
ground black pepper
Directions
Add all ingredients in the pan with the penne. Cook over medium heat until the cheese is completely melted.
Ingredients
2 cups penne, cooked
1/4 cup milk
6 oz. Velveeta, cubed
2 oz. shredded cheddar
ground black pepper
Directions
Add all ingredients in the pan with the penne. Cook over medium heat until the cheese is completely melted.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Foodie Post: Baked Penne
So, I was sitting on my couch wondering what to make for dinner out of what I had on hand and I finally got the recipe in my head. Typically I make baked ziti but I just so happen to not have ziti noodles I have penne so I m going to use that instead. This recipe was created off the top of my head and it was delicious!
Material
1 10 inch frying pan
Medium to Large Pot
9x13 inch dish
Spatula
Knife
Bowl
Spoon
Pairings: Beer or Wine; Garlic bread
Ingredients
1 lb ground beef
1/2 cup onion
1/2 cup green pepper
1 lb pasta (penne or ziti)
1 jar spaghetti sauce (your choice)
6 ounces of your favorite cheese (I used 3 ounces mozzarella and 3 ounces provolone)
1/2 cup Parmesan, to top
salt, to taste
ground black pepper, to taste
optional* Italian seasoning to sprinkle on top
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Heat up pan thoroughly
2. While the pan is heating cut up the onion and green pepper. Add the ground beef, onion, green pepper, salt and pepper to the pan and cook until the ground beef is browned, but not over done
3. While the ground beef is cooking boil some water and make the pasta, al dente; Drain
4. When the ground beef is done dump the sauce in the pan and let simmer for about 10 minutes on low to marry the flavors. After about 10 minutes add the pasta to the sauce mixture and mix very thoroughly, making sure to get all of the pasta mixed
5. Add half the pasta into the 9x13 pan, sprinkle half of the parmesan, making sure that it's evenly covered in cheese. Add the other half of pasta on top, adding the rest of the parmesan in an even coat
6. Add 6 ounces of cheese in an even layer on top. Wrap pan loosely in aluminum and bake for 20 minutes. Take the aluminum off and bake an additional 5-10 minutes (I don't like brown cheese so I take mine out at 5 minutes)
7. Let rest for a few minutes and serve
Material
1 10 inch frying pan
Medium to Large Pot
9x13 inch dish
Spatula
Knife
Bowl
Spoon
Pairings: Beer or Wine; Garlic bread
Ingredients
1 lb ground beef
1/2 cup onion
1/2 cup green pepper
1 lb pasta (penne or ziti)
1 jar spaghetti sauce (your choice)
6 ounces of your favorite cheese (I used 3 ounces mozzarella and 3 ounces provolone)
1/2 cup Parmesan, to top
salt, to taste
ground black pepper, to taste
optional* Italian seasoning to sprinkle on top
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Heat up pan thoroughly
2. While the pan is heating cut up the onion and green pepper. Add the ground beef, onion, green pepper, salt and pepper to the pan and cook until the ground beef is browned, but not over done
3. While the ground beef is cooking boil some water and make the pasta, al dente; Drain
4. When the ground beef is done dump the sauce in the pan and let simmer for about 10 minutes on low to marry the flavors. After about 10 minutes add the pasta to the sauce mixture and mix very thoroughly, making sure to get all of the pasta mixed
5. Add half the pasta into the 9x13 pan, sprinkle half of the parmesan, making sure that it's evenly covered in cheese. Add the other half of pasta on top, adding the rest of the parmesan in an even coat
6. Add 6 ounces of cheese in an even layer on top. Wrap pan loosely in aluminum and bake for 20 minutes. Take the aluminum off and bake an additional 5-10 minutes (I don't like brown cheese so I take mine out at 5 minutes)
7. Let rest for a few minutes and serve
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