I have had this issue for a while, now. Anger. Sometimes I don't know what I'm mad about and sometimes it's a pointed issue that creates the anger.
There is a specific issue that I am dealing with right now that has my anger level at a pretty even six on a scale of one to ten. This is a situation that I must deal with, there's no way around it in spite of how much I would rather pretend the situation doesn't exist. The argument, on the surface, appeared to be my just not liking how the situation was happening and when you combine that with my general dislike of the person causing the situation it caused an argument. For days I have been walking around thinking it was the person that was upsetting me and all I could think about was "how could you do this to me, I don't deserve it!". As I relax and clear my mind right now I find that it's not the person who's upsetting me. It's the lack of trust that is being exhibited from people who are not trustworthy to begin with. It's almost like "for every stone you throw at me there's three more coming back to you for all that you have done".
Is that a healthy approach to dealing with anger issues? No, I'm here to tell you that it's not. I am currently working on dealing with my situation in as little anger and hostility as possible. One has to look at the bigger picture. "If the anger is not serving you a positive purpose then you are just letting negative energy bring you down and ruin your health" (Ralph from the YouTube channel 'Infinite Waters Diving Deep'). You can't change other people and how they deal with you but you can change how you react. Some may even upset you on purpose, pushing your buttons, but you have to find a way to see the whole picture which will enable you to know when they are purposely pushing buttons. Gaining control of your emotions is key to this situation.
This is all easier said than done, especially for someone like me. My emotions are very sensitive and easily manipulated by others, therefore they are able to elicit reactions from me that may not be in my best interest to act out. It's hard for me to admit this but when people pull anger from me and the only way for me to react is to lash out they have control over me and it's not something that I'm happy about or proud of.
What can be done to take back control of your reactions, emotions and anger? Limit the time you spend around that person. If you aren't having to be around them all the time, limitations means that you can prepare yourself and your reactions ahead of time. Make sure that you have thought out the possible situations and even figure out how much you are willing to speak to that person before you cut conversation off. If it's possible, try not to have conversation with the person at all. Some people aren't meant to get along with you, that's just simple human nature, therefore interacting too much with them will always result in an argument or confrontation. If the person insists on having communication with you even though they know there's no amicable end to the situation then you now have knowledge that the person is trying to speak enough to bring you out of your character. Don't give them the upperhand.
What else can be done? Take a deep breath and count backwards from a hundred, making sure that you breathe slowly between numbers. If you have increased breathing that's agitating your oxygen which can lead to building up more anger and hostility. Something else you could do is drink green tea and meditate before seeing the anger trigger. Ever heard of the phrase "calm as tea"? Green tea, even chamomile tea, have extreme calming effects and can aid in you having a quick and stress free interaction with the trigger. One way that I don't really recommend if you have a lot of anger is to take a deep breath and hold it while the person is speaking, allow their negativity to push your buttons but don't react, and then let out a healthy scream when you leave their vacinity.
This is definitely not all of the methods that you can use to contain anger but it's a good jumping off point. Remember, meditate and try to maintain control of your emotions through that. Some people are only around to bring out the worst in us, it's up to us to bring out the best version of ourselves and no one else should have power over that (Ralph from the YouTube channel 'Infinite Waters Diving Deep'). As I work on my anger issues I will continue to post and in the meantime, check out Ralph's channel, his video's are absolutely electric. Love, peace and blessed be )O(.
